PT1 | sound on 🎙
upbringing + childhood trauma

PT2 | reason number one
i decided to abstain from sex, because i had daddy issues! and yes, still working through them! except now, it has less to do w my dad, and more to do with how i’m processing + moving fwd in my personal life. a big part of it was forgiving my dad - thanks be to God, our relationship was even restored bc of this 1st level of healing♥️
i had spent so much time looking for guys that would give me what i was missing in that relationship - only to end up with another guy who was exactly what i didn’t want! - emotionally unavailable, angry, etc - i had to figure out what part of me kept attracting these type of guys. i didn’t want anyone to connect with me through past trauma, anger, or secrecy. i felt like sex couldn’t be on the table while i’m “cleaning house” bc it would only be sweeping things under the rug temporarily.
† 2 tim 2:22 flew also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

PT3 | story time
“Mom, what’s foreplay?”
this photo pretty much sums up my 1st relationship. i went to prom alone. no one really knew when we were dating or when we weren’t, + we didn’t post on social media either.
my parents wouldn’t let me leave the house ever, so most of my dating relationships were strictly talking, texting + seeing each other at school. he introduced me to “sexting”, bc that’s literally all we could do!
i did think i was going to be with him forever, but at that age, i thought i was going to marry chris brown too!
i lost my virginity in the back of his truck🤦🏽♀️ afterwards i just went home + cried. i was even more sad. i immediately thought “i should’ve waited” 💭 i wanted to stop wearing my ring, but i couldn’t bring myself to tell my parents what i did.
it happened 2 more times, and the last time i stopped in the middle of everything, left his house and cried all the way home. i didn’t know why i was doing it, i just knew i didn’t want to do it anymore.

PT4 | social convos
now by no means do i suggest research on instagram 😢 however, i found these posts + i think they bring strong conversation pieces to the forefront that are worth tackling and taking into consideration.
post 1 (parenting/thread) https://www.instagram.com/p/CP4yveEBplt/?utm_medium=copy_link
post 2 (sex/thread) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQSQZmOKfL0/?utm_medium=copy_link
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