ab·sti·nence

one day i made a post on IG about me + my fiancé’s decision to not have sex until we are married. i made the post not to speak about it entirely, but just to name another fact about our relationship.

since that post this is probably one of the biggest topics that people ask me about. i def don’t mind! i love sharing different points of view🤍

interestingly enough, my decision to choose not to have sex was not completely biblical (i will unpack this statement this week). although i am a believer 10000%, it wasn’t a Bible verse that made me decide.

lets get into it this week😉

background + frame of reference ///

• i am not ashamed to give full transparency. as i always have. however, this is a safe space for me, so rather than posting on social media the exact details of the stories i’m telling you this week, just invite those to the group that need to see. (you’ll know what i’m referring to shortly, everything else is free game as always)

• i lost my virginity @18 years old. i’ve had sex with 3 people total in my entire life. i will be talking this week through what i learned from each + how they impacted my sexual + spiritual life. 1st story is tomorrow🤍

• my decision to not have sex in my last relationship was not based on scriptures i read. (i literally can’t wait to unpack this one right here! this will be in story #3 ) but i’ll tell you this, i have tried to be abstinent before + i couldn’t seem to do right😩 and i knew every scripture about it🤦🏽‍♀️ went to church🥺 prayed💆🏽‍♀️ i did everything except put on a chastity belt🤣

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we can keep the convo going here in the Bible Plan for the week! 💗

➡️ https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/15760

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disclaimer: as with a lot of my views, i don’t get into conversations such as “do this” and “do that”.. what i like to do, is present the facts. you make the decision for yourself based on what God is revealing to you at that time. i trust God’s Word + Him enough to piece that together for you. i don’t need to do that, i can simply present the information.

when it comes down to this topic in particular, there is a lot of shame, judgment + manipulation in the christian community. the more people pressed me to make the decision, the more i resisted. and when i failed, the further i pushed God away due to shame. i was taught God’s way of doing things, but why did i choose differently? and more importantly, what made me choose His way finally, if it wasn’t beating my head with the Bible?

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